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bespectacledsloth:

all-four-cheekbones:

facts-i-just-made-up:

Genetically Modified Berry compared to Organic Berry:

Note that the modified specimen is bloated to about 3 times the mass of the common berry. Advanced rot has set in prior to maturity and tests revealed 78% more lactic acid in the modified organism.

Upon contact with the modified berry, the picker’s hands exhibited a rash which is clearly visible on the fingers and should not be mistaken for juice stains acquired during picking. While the common berry, of course, has no ill effects on the skin, the modified organism had an effect similar to poison oak and swelling set in shortly after the photo was taken.  The discoloration and pain lasted approximately 12 hours with treatment including Neosporin and Syrup of Ipecac.

At 16 hours the specimen went missing and could not be monitored for decay rates.  While the common berry remained, the modified berry was spotted the next Tuesday at the corner of Wallace and 12th St. Having grown another meter and a half, the genetically modified berry murdered two prostitutes and became the target of a cross country manhunt. It was last seen on February 20th in Boulder, CO where it has joined with several bananas from the Monsanto corporation and stolen at least two shotguns from the Boulder Police Department.

A manifesto was released online suggesting that the berries intend to strike at our nurseries, killing our young and replacing them with further modified organisms which we will raise as our own. They also intend to “free their enslaved brothers” by treating common fruits and possibly vegetables with mutagens.

The head of the FDA could not be reached for comment as he has gone missing. Only a glass of unidentified red fluid was found in his office, labeled “Extra Pulp”.

#I am so glad I kept reading

The number of people that aren’t reading the whole thing and are hailing it as fact make me laugh harder than the actual story.

(via liveinink)

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"

"Do you consider yourself a feminist?"
“I don’t really think about things as guys versus girls. I never have. I was raised by parents who brought me up to think if you work as hard as guys, you can go far in life.”

- Taylor Swift 2012

"As a teenager, I didn’t understand that saying you’re a feminist is just saying that you hope women and men will have equal rights and equal opportunities. What it seemed to me, the way it was phrased in culture, society, was that you hate men. And now, I think a lot of girls have had a feminist awakening because they understand what the word means."

- Taylor Swift 2014

"

- Growth (via mjwatson)

(via liveinink)

Source: mjwatson
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I really appreciate how the Facebook notification icon of the world, changes perspective on the world depending where you are.

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"When is your flight? I want to get some life insurance on you."

-

My Senior Pastor the day before we left.

(The past week there had been at least 3 plane crashes)

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shes-universal:

*ride operator voice* please keep your lols omgs and your “I tried to scroll past this”s inside the tags at all times ladies and gents

(via comesaygoodbye)

Source: shes-universal
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obi-wankenblowme:

These two guys are roommates and I fucking love hearing about the shit they do to each other

(via tracingthetimelines)

Source: obi-wankenblowme